Photo Credit: AP Photo/Eric Christian Smith

BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James Surprisingly Announces Retirement After Disappointing Season

When I got up this morning, I’ve had a trillion notifications on my phone. Whenever this is the case, it means something drastic has happened.

Then, out of nowhere, the shock!

“LeBron James announces retirement after disappointing season with the Lakers”

4 Championships, 4 Finals MVPs, 4 MVPs, 18 All-Star Games, 13 All-NBA First Teams, 5 NBA All Defensive First Teams, 2 Olympic Gold Medals. That’s supposed to be it? Why is he calling it a career?

They say it’s best to leave on a high note. But LeBron still seems to be in his prime and, love it or hate it, was on the verge of possibly surpassing Michael Jordan as the GOAT, as well as passing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the NBA’s all-time scoring list.

In a very emotional interview, LeBron said:

“I feel like my career is fullfilled. After years on the road, I want to fully focus on my family. This is only possible if I retire from my active playing career. Who knows what will be in 3, 4 or 5 years. I wouldn’t be the first player to come back out of retirement. But… I promised my wife, I promised myself…”

Maybe, the Lakers will be able to clinch the play-in spot and advance to the playoffs. Then, we’ll at least be able to see a couple of more games of King James.

By the way, none of this is true (obviously!), and in case you haven’t checked the calendar, let me tell you that it’s April 1st.